Sorry I haven’t written much lately. Been feeling somewhat rough. I’ve been doing a lot of research on how to be happier and improve my self-esteem. As some of you who are reading this will know that I’ve struggled with low self-esteem and depression quite a bit and I’m just tired of it. So I’m starting to take control of my emotional health instead of letting it control me.
I’ve noticed a lot of things in common between articles, blog posts, and books on happiness and I’m going to try my hardest to incorporate them into my daily life. Here’s some of the most important bits I’ll be focusing on:
Become more spiritual – Now this does not mean the same as being religious (although a lot of people think that. I know I did before I read that there is a difference). To me spirituality is mainly a sense of purpose in life and a set of values. What I’m doing to improve my spirituality is reading into Zen and Shin Buddhism, yoga, and once it gets warm I’ll be spending more time in nature.
Owning My Emotions – I realize that I am often guilty of blaming others for how I feel. While they may have done something that upset me I cannot fully blame them for how I feel. Emotions come from a lot more than just something happening. They come from how we interpret an even, our past experiences in similar events, our insecurities, and so much more. I have realized from my failed relationships that I need to be more careful with trying to slow down when I get upset and try to figure out why exactly I am feeling that way. And then instead of asking someone else to change (we all know that
never very rarely works) I should instead try to find a solution that involves working on the root cause for these emotions, be it insecurities, past experiences, or maybe unrealistic expectations (also really guilty of this…). I could write so much more about this but maybe I’ll save that for a later post.
Living In The Now – I’ve made mistakes. A LOT of them. It’s so easy to just beat myself up over all of them and think of the “what if’s”. All this does is create unnecessary suffering. “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional” (Haruki Murakami). I also like to dream, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as long as you don’t expect everything to go as planned. Because if they don’t go as planned you can find yourself feeling lost or like you have failed. Change is inevitable. I’m going to work on forgiving myself for my past mistakes, learning to be grateful for what I have right now, and keeping an open mind when thinking about my future.
Social Support – Often I find myself feeling isolated. Like I have no one to talk to who will understand me. You would think social media would help this but honestly it just makes me envy everyone else who has real friends, who go out and do fun things, how seem to always have someone to rely on. I plan to try to find who kind of understand me, who don’t criticize or tease me, and who have similar life values and dreams. Oh and who is optimistic (or at least tries to be), it’s so hard to be positive when you’re surrounded by pessimists. Maybe I’m expecting too much.. But I’m still going to try.
Well that’s the most of what I’ll be working on doing. I’m really hoping it will help me to lead a fuller happier life and set a better example for Rylan. Feel free to join me on my journey, I could always use the extra support. =) thanks for reading.