A lot has changed in the last couple weeks. I moved out of my parents and moved into a really cute apartment with my sister and her son. I have a nice view of the mountains from all the main rooms.
Another change that’s not as positive is I’ve become single.. It’s still sinking in that all the plans and dreams I had with D are no longer. As I’m sure you know, it’s really painful. I’ve come to a hard realization that I suffer from codependency and that’s most likely the cause of all my failed relationships. Apparently, codependency is similar to alcoholism but instead of being dependent on alcohol you are dependent on someone else.. It’s pretty bad. They even have codependency meetings that follow the same 12 step program as AA, I would go to these but they are late at night and I have Rylan to care for. Right now I plan on trying to focus on finding what makes me happy in life and learning to take care of my own emotions and problems. I think it will be easier while single as I won’t have someone to run to for every little problem and expect them to make me feel better. I also won’t feel the need to fix their every problem or bad mood, which takes a LOT of energy. So yeah.. Hoping everything will work out for the better.. Hoping..
The last change is that I’m pretty sure I’m changing my major.. I wanted to do software engineering but that’s not a possibility unless I start over new which means the last 2 semesters I’ve taken would be a waste of time and money. Stupid University of Utah transfer requirements. So now I’m thinking of doing electrical engineering, but not even sure about that.. Ugh. If I could choose any major it would honestly be natural medicine, that would require moving out of state though. And that’s not possible. Feels like the world is against me or something.. I’ll figure it out though. Feel free to give me advice on this dilemma in the comments.
Anyways, next post will be less pointless. I’m going out to lunch with a few other moms to a vegan restaurant so maybe I’ll post about that.